Tit for tat is a fair game. We have all grown up with this in mind. We believe so much in revenge that we forget we will be hurt in the process too. The moment you can't revenge you feel inadequate. Revenge is a wrong way to prove to the offender or other people that you are right.
Forgive and forget. I know it is so easy to say this but how practical is it? How many forgive and forgot? How many lists do you have in your head of the wrongs done against you.
My friend Grace and I were sitting on the rooftop enjoying the beautiful and calm breeze one hot afternoon. We had this hearty girl talk and then with no idea I switched to the unending debate- forgive and forget. `Tell me how do I forget all the pains people cause me in life? That is impossible and I will be lying to myself. It is like I have a register of all bad events in my head that I can never erase. The moment I see Mama Mboga,I remember the day she gave me rotten tomatoes since it was dark,Njeri reminds me of the assignment she refused to help me complete,Akinyi snatched my boyfriend away from me despite the fact that we were close friends,I lost my Ankara gladiator shoes just because I lent Chebet,' I had to cut her short because all these narrations were consuming her up.
` Tell me how do I forget all these when my memory is still so fresh as if it happened a minute ago? I believe the only way out is revenge maybe my heart will find peace. I know you want to go all preachy and tell me how the Bible condemns revenge it's OK, but does the same Bible teach us how to forget. I wish it could because we couldn't be here talking about it. It's not that I don't forgive, I forgive immediately with one pure heart. Only to realize later I haven't forgotten,I have a push deep down that is seeking revenge,that is constantly reminding the offender how much they hurt me.
The most annoying part is that I never feel any better. I remind them so that I can feel better,to make them feel guilty, for someone to feel sorry for me and maybe to taunt them.
Every time I remind myself of the incidences, I hurt and become heart broken- I feel guilty for whatever I have said and done. How do I forget? How did you forgive and forget? How easy is it to forgive and forget?' Grace broke down.
Forgive and forget is easier said than done. We tend to forgive easily but find it hard to forget. When you don't forget you haven't forgiven that person. When you keep referring to the mistakes others committed against you simply means you never forgave that person in the first place. It hurts to be lied to, heart broken, wasted, beaten etc but it hurts more to carry all these bad memories. Just like Grace who pretends to have forgiven all but her wounds are still fresh. She is bitter and angry to her offenders and herself.
It's everyone's wish to see their offenders suffering,we wish them bad and hope one day a big calamity will befall them. All we want is for them to come on their knees and beg desperately for our forgiveness and hail us. What if everyone you wronged ganged up against you? How will it feel? Will you
Don't forgive and forget for their sake it will be hard,do it for yourself. Release your self from the chains of bitterness and forgiveness. It is hard to do it but FORGIVE AND FORGET.